I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
that's an acceptable place to lick
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
