I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
