I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
