nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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