I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
He passed out mid-signature
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
