he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
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