guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
