A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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