and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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