Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
