Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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