everyone is single if you try hard enough
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
