they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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