That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
