You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
