What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
