he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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