Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
