I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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