Me. At least after what I've been through.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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