What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
YAS. BRING CRAB.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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