its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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