Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Even my vagina gasped.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
