he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
