incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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