my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
