whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
