The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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