dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
