So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize