I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Sober January is a disaster.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
