Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
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