somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Randomize
