I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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