I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
