I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
