This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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