when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
