My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
