you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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