Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
