i just made my gag reflex go away.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Randomize
