Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
