Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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