Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
