remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Randomize
