My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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