oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
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Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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