where am i from again
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
