so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize