ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
