y did u give ur computer a hand job?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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