Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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