It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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