theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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