3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
