you win again, gameday.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Randomize
