I wannas sexs uuuuu
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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