You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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