I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
