You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
