I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
