Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"