chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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