i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
