i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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